 |
Paddy's fingers |
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he
accidentally 'Lets be avin'
da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'. I
could have put dem back on and made you like new! |
|
Just a bit of fun, (video magic)
| THIS WAS
NOMINATED FOR BEST JOKE OF THE YEAR - WORTH SHARING A Somalian arrives in London as a new immigrant to the UK. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says........ 'Thank you Mr. British for letting me in this country, giving me housing, money for food, free medical care, free education and no taxes!' The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Morrocan !' The man goes on and encounters another passerby. 'Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK!' The person says, 'I not British, I am Polish !' The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Britain!' That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from India , I am not from Britain!' He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you a British?' She says , 'No, I am from Africa!' Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the British?' The African lady checks her watch and says ... 'Probably at work' IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOU WILL RECEIVE THREE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ABSOLUTELY FREE |
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| A teacher is explaining biology to
her 4th grade students. 'Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says. A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.' |
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Credit crunch jokes What's the capital of Iceland ? - About £3.50 How do you define optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday Why have estate agents stopped looking out of the window in the morning? Because otherwise they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon What's the difference between an investment banker and a large pizza? The pizza can still feed a family of four. As a surprise, a chief exec's wife pops by his office. She finds him in an Unorthodox position, with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without Hesitation, he starts dictating: '. . . And in conclusion, gentlemen, credit Crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with "Just one chair" What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? The pigeon is still capable of leaving a deposit on a new Ferrari. The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. The car's been "Repossessed." Latest news: The Isle of Dogs bank has collapsed. They've called in the "Retrievers." What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't sell anything? A Quarter-pounder with fries, please.
Bradford & Bingley employees are concerned they were given no notice of the Takeover by Santander Bank.A Government spokesman said: 'No one expected the Spanish acquisition.' You know it's a credit crunch when... The cashpoint asks if you can spare any change. There's a 'buy one, get one free' offer - on banks. The Inland Revenue is offering a 25 per cent discount for cash-payers. Gordon Brown has stopped chewing his nails and started sucking his thumb. Your builder asks to be paid in Zimbabwean dollars rather than sterling. Highgrove has been repossessed. Victoria Beckham is pictured shopping in Primark. Alistair Darling's eyebrows have turned white. Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and Peter Mandelson are flying to a world Economic summit. Peter looks at Alistair and chuckles: 'You know, I could Throw a £50 note out of the window right now and make one person very Happy.' Alistair shrugs his shoulders and says: 'Well, I could throw five £10 notes out of the window and make five people very happy.' Gordon says: 'Of course, but I could throw ten £5 notes out of the window And make ten people very happy.' The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of Them, and Says: 'I could throw all of you out of the window and make the whole country Happy.' |
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|
Paddy's fingers |
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Cork when he
accidentally 'Lets be avin'
da fingers and I'll see what oi can do'. I
could have put dem back on and made you like new! |
|